Most men don’t enjoy conflict in a relationship. Oh, we all love the make-up sex that follows a good fight, but it’s getting there that’s the problem. That being the case, most men avoid starting a fight with their woman. Unfortunately, there are those times when it becomes unavoidable.
Ladies, there are times you cause fights. It’s true and you know it. It’s not our ignorance that does it every time (though we men mess up quite often), sometimes it’s your stubborn attitude. Here are some examples of fights you ladies inadvertantly cause:
1 – “You never compliment me anymore!”
You’ve got to love this one. The woman spends hours getting ready to go out. She’s dressed to the hilt in something sexy and her hair is perfect. She comes out, her man is amazed. He tells her so and she says thank you. That’s a perfect scenario.
Real life though is different. While we men do love it when our woman is dressed up and looking hot, we also can find those simple days incredibly sexy as well. For instance, a woman with her hair down and no make up can be incredibly hot to her man if she’s wearing shorts and a t-shirt. We look at you and see “sexy!”, you look at you and see “messy”. We tell you how hot you look and how we’d love to rip those comfy clothes off you and show you, and you say, “No, I’m not! I look awful!”. Once is ok and understandable, but when it happens every time we pay you a compliment, soon we get tired of it and stop bothering.
Ladies, you need to realize that you’re going to look sexy to your man at times when you don’t necessarily feel sexy. But if you call them a liar every time they tell you how hot you look, soon they aren’t going to bother telling you. Then when you get all dressed up and know you look good, you’ll get ticked because he hasn’t said anything.
The solution is simple: when he tells you he thinks you’re hot, smile demurely and kiss him. If you can’t say “thank you”, then at the very least don’t call him a liar.
2 – “All you ever think about is sex!”
Yep, that’s true. You look hot, we want you. We wake up first thing in the morning and the equipment is already working, we want you. We’re otherwise bored, we want you. We slip into the shower with you, it becomes obvious rather quickly. We fix you dinner and clean up afterward…you get the picture.
That’s how we’re wired. Yes, you can fix it by nagging until the desire for you is gone…but notice I said the desire “for you”. That sex drive is still going to be there and if you’re not going to help us, you can be sure there’s someone else out there who will.
If you don’t want to do it every night, that’s fine. Just make sure your husband knows there is some point in time in the week ahead that’s his. First thing Saturday morning while the kids are still asleep, or Friday night going to bed early, or something. As long as he knows it’s coming, he won’t reach that point of desperation where his every action soon becomes a clumsy attempt at seduction.
3 – “Why can’t you be more like…”
This is so stupid it should be a no-brainer, but it’s amazing to me how many times I hear a wife compare her husband to someone else to their face. There are indeed other ways to challenge your man’s masculinity (pointing and laughing immediately comes to mind), but very few can have such a horrible reverse effect as this one.
Susan’s husband is perfect, we get it. He buys her flowers, he puts the kids to bed so she can relax on the couch before bedtime, and he never forgets an anniversary or holiday. You don’t have to tell us these things. What you don’t know, however, is what Susan’s husband is telling us from his viewpoint. Susan recognizes these things he does for her, and she “rewards” him for the extra effort. Yes, it all boils down to sex again.
Putting it bluntly, if you looked like Susan and did half the freaky things she does after the kids are put to bed, we’d treat you like he does. Think about it.
4 – “You never listen to me!”
Possibly true. Did your conversation start with “Let me tell you something…”? Then yes, we tuned you out. Did you time the beginning of the conversation with the last half of a championship game? Then yes, we tuned you out. Did you begin the conversation just as our head hit the pillow to go to sleep after a long day? Then yes, we tuned you out. Is this the same story you’ve told before in extreme detail? Yep, we tuned you out.
Ask a man how his day went, he’ll say, “Fine.” Ask a woman how her day went, and it starts with “Well, when I got up this morning…” and goes from there. As a matter of fact, her recount of the day almost happens in real time, taking as long to tell it as it did to live it.
Ladies, we love you, but cut it short sometimes…or time the beginning of the conversation better. Start at the beginning of dinner and we’ll be more inclined to listen. How about when we’re driving somewhere? Turn down the radio (only as long as nothing classic is playing that demands to be rocked to) and talk. Learn to time the conversations to when it’s convenient for both of us and we’ll listen.
And if all else fails, this one is guaranteed: Begin the conversation by taking off your shirt while you’re talking. When it hits the floor, stop and ask your hubby “What did I just say?” If he can repeat it, move on to your pants and do the same while continuing the story. If he doesn’t have a clue what you said, slip the shirt back on and say, “Too bad” and walk away. You will only have to do this once to ingrain this behavior of listening into your man. Soon he’ll be racing down the hall when he thinks he heard you talking. We’re easy to train if you use the right tools!