Previously I wrote about those fun games you can play as a married couple. Now I think it’s time to mention those fun games you get to play when you’re still dating. It’s such a magical time in a relationship, and there’s so much that can go wrong–if you plan it right!
This is a fun one! You’re sitting there talking to this hot girl on a date that you think is going pretty well. Eventually you notice her gaze keeps drifting from your eyes to another part of your face. It could be your teeth, it could be your nose, it could be your forehead or cheek…all you know is she’s looking at something!
Now you become paranoid. Do I have something in my teeth? Did a zit suddenly pop up somewhere on my face? Is there a booger hanging on my nose?
This is where the fun part sets in. The fast and easy way to handle this is to just get up and go to the bathroom to check it out. Of course, who likes the easy way? Instead, you drink something and swish it around in your mouth hoping to clean your teeth, or you lean forward and cover your cheek with your hand, or you try to signal the waiter and when she looks away you wipe your nose for all you’re worth.
How do you win this game? You don’t until you get up and check it all out. The fun part of this game, however, isn’t playing it, but making someone else play it. Next time you’re on a date that you want to get out of, just casually glance at her nose a lot. When she picks it up and excuses herself to go to the restroom, you pay the check and bolt!
You talked to her at the party and have her number. You’ve waited long enough and decide to place the call. This is the one, you’re sure of it! You call her up and she answers with an uncertain “Hello?”.
“Hey,” you say in your most sexy cool voice. “It’s me.”
A pause. Then an uncertain, “Hey, you. How are you?”
Now you are faced with a dilemma. It’s obvious she doesn’t know who in the world she’s talking to right now. Should you enlighten her, which makes it obvious you didn’t make that big of an impression on her? Or should you keep talking and act like it’s her fault and she should catch up quickly or you’re gone.
This is one of those rare games that isn’t fun for either party. If you’re the caller, you have suddenly been dealt the biggest blow to your ego imagineable. If you’re the call-ee, you are stuck with this awkward moment of trying to remember if this was the cute one you talked to while you were sober, or did things go really south after you started drinking?
3) The Great Escape
You’re on a date with this girl you know from work and it’s apparent things are not going well for you. She’s into you but there’s just something about her that isn’t clicking on your end. Maybe it’s her laugh, or maybe it’s the way she eats, or maybe it’s how she chatters incessantly, but there’s something that demands you flee immediately. The problem is that you can’t be rude because you see this person on a regular basis and it would really make things awkward at work, or you’d have to change coffee shops, or something.
Now the game begins: How can you get away without making it look like you’re trying to get away? What excuse can you use that will sound reasonable without being impossible to back up with physical proof? You can say your landlord called because someone broke into your apartment, but what if she follows you there to make sure you’re ok? Sick grandmother? That might work unless she knows another member of your family or a close friend.
This can be a challenging game, but fun. Consider it a survival situation and you’re Survivorman. How can you use what’s around you to formulate that perfect, untraceable escape? It ain’t easy, but it’s doable.
4) Awkward Moments
There are so many of these on a date that it’s possible to play this game all night long. The only problem is that this game isn’t any fun at all. Instead, for every time you play this one you automatically lose one value point in your date’s eyes. Lose enough, and she’s gonna be screaming in someone else’s sheets tonight.
Maybe it’s that moment when you mention how you hate cats, then she says she has two at her apartment who are her best friends. Maybe it’s when you accidentally mention your ex-girlfriend…for the third time that night. Or maybe it’s when you try that joke that killed with your friends, but the second before the punch line leaves your mouth you realize it’s one of those “You had to be there” jokes and it’s too late to stop it. Whatever it is, it’s the moment when you both just sort of force a smile at each other and scramble desperately for another conversation thread to pull before it all crashes and burns.
However, the worst of these moments is the easiest to identify. You’re working your magic by candlelight and soft music in the bedroom. She’s moving beneath you like a wildcat and you wish you could take notes because of how awesome you are at that moment. You can see by the expression on her face that she’s there when suddenly she says, “Oh, god, Carl, YES! YES! YES!”
The problem is your name is Ted.
Instant lose. Game over.