Christmas is coming, and I thought it would be nice to say a little bit that might help you buy just the right gift for the man in your life. Believe it or not, we men still love Christmas. And while we may hate shopping with a passion, we love to find that perfect gift waiting for us under the tree. Here are a few tips you can take or leave about making the man in your life happy:
1) Anything from Best Buy is an automatic winner. Want to have some fun? Tell your man you want to go Christmas shopping. You can practically see the excuses flying through his head and racing to his mouth. Then tell him you’re going shopping for him, and you need him to drive you to Best Buy! You haven’t seen such a rapid mood swing since…nevermind.
It’s not that Best Buy is some wonderful store…it’s just that almost everything in Best Buy is something a guy would love. Consider it the “Toys-R-Us for Men” (though we still love the real Toys-R-Us). Where else can you get a plasma TV, computer, Playstation 3, complete seasons of The Sopranos, and music? Yes, I know Target sells all that, but there are clothes there too. Best Buy is just the fun stuff!
Let him drive you there, leave him in the car with the windows cracked, and watch him as you walk inside. He’ll be drooling like Fido and boucing around the backseat watching for your return.
2. We still love toys. You know how it always seems to take so long to get your husband/boyfriend out of the toy aisles when shopping for the kid in your life? Ever notice how he seems to get that glint in his eye when he sees the latest “Nerf Double-Barrelled Shotgun with Laser Sight and Sniper Scope”? It’s not because we’re considering that stuff for someone else–we want it for ourselves!
No matter how old a man gets, he still wants them toys! I mean, we grow out of the Fisher-Price stage, but throw us a Nerf gun, Laser Tag, or Super Soaker, and we’re 10 again. Give us the latest video game and/or gamer console, and we’ll slap your 12 year old nephew down if he tries to touch it. I swear we’re not that complicated…just keep us entertained.
3. Sometimes the best gifts are the ones we men don’t even get to use. Here’s where I’m going to get those ugly “how sexist!” comments, but I’m just telling you the truth. Remember the wedding night when you came out in that white/black nightie thing and stood there a moment letting us see you before the real action started? Yeah, we’ve never forgotten that moment either. Over the years, those moments can become fewer and fewer until they never happen anymore. Maybe it’s the fact that we get so busy with work, kids, or life in general, but those moments of seduction get crammed into seconds of frantic pawing before the kids wake up.
I know it takes effort to clip, buckle, or tie everything in one of those things, and you know you’re just going to take it off in a few seconds anyway, but words can’t describe how it makes your man feel to see you in one. You see, we realize the effort you had to go through to put it on…and we know you did that for us. See where I’m coming from? For those moments, we’re not just quick sex–we’re the man you find desireable enough to seduce. That can do more for an ego in ten seconds than a million words can say. Don’t just tell us you love us and think we’re sexy…show us. I promise we will reciprocate by fixing the sink, washing your car…heck, we’ll even vaccuum when the game is on if we know that’s the post-game entertainment coming!
So watch his face as he opens a gift with something slinky, sexy, and not even for him. And if you know ahead of time you aren’t going to want to go through it all again later (just being honest), then let him rip it off you in the heat of passion. You never have to wear it again, and he feels like he’s just put Angelina Jolie through the mattress. Win-win situation all around.
4. Play with us and we’ll love you for life. So your man has unwrapped the Playstation and latest game you bought him, now what? Simple: get in there and play with him. We men remember our childhood fondly, and there are those “best friend” moments we never forget. Those moments are mostly bonded to our mind through some secret we shared, or through some incredible play times growing up. Guess what? We still remember those moments.
Be that fun girl that isn’t afraid to grab the controller and blast our digital butts to pieces in Halo 3, or can kill us in Madden 2008! Even if you don’t beat us, it’s still the thought that counts. The fact that you’re playing with us for a few minutes is something we won’t forget–and I promise it’s something we’ll be bragging to our buddies to at work later.
And here’s my big hint to you in this: if you know you’re going to buy the game, play it ahead of time. Either in the store on one of the displays, or maybe you know a kid who has it and will show you a few tips on it. You don’t have to master the game, just learn your way around it a little. When we turn on that game for the first time and have a problem mastering the controls, you can say “Let me show you how it’s done” and take the controller. A few jaw-dropping moments later, you will have established that playful challenge we love. You will be our dream woman (especially if you follow this up with tip #3 later that night).
So that’s it. A few simple tips that hopefully will un-complicate an already complicated season. If you think I’m wrong, read the title of my blog again. There’s a reason I chose it.
I’m working on a few tips for the men who will be shopping for the ladies, so feel free to sound off in the comments if you have some suggestions.