Oh, you read about it in magazines, you see it in movies, and you may hear guys talk about it when a hot girl walks by, but have you ever wondered what makes a woman stand out as sexy? Believe it or not, it’s not just the “WOW!” physical aspect of it all. Don’t get me wrong, looks play a big part in it (at least, how those looks are handled), but there are other things that figure into the equation.
Ladies, would you like to know if other guys think you’re sexy? Or would you like to want to ramp up your value just a little next time you see that cute guy you want to impress? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Let me give you a little insight into what–besides just looks–makes a woman sexy to a man.
1) A strong laugh – 
Now I’m not talking about some hideous witch cackle or something that eventually devolves into a pig snort. I’m talking about a smooth, strong laugh with a nice smile. A woman who’s open to laughter and not afraid to let herself go with a good laugh is a vocal woman. Do you understand where this leads in our minds? You’re vocal in this respect, you’ll be vocal later in another situation. Follow me?
So why the laugh? Why not deep conversation or intimate details of your day-to-day life? Because too much talk can be a big turn-off. We want to know that later you’ll be uninhibited in expressing yourself, but not so talkative that you won’t shut up long enough to do anything else. That little air of “maybe” keeps electricity in the air.
2) Eye contact – A woman who locks eyes with you and keeps that half-smile going just before her gaze drops to the bar is great. I’m not meaning the scary, stare-at-you-all-night-like-a-stalker girl. No, I mean the woman who isn’t afraid to look at you and let you know she’s doing so. This is the woman who watches you while you’re talking, and doesn’t let her eyes wander all over the room. She’s the woman who makes you think you’re the only other person in the room, and she’s the woman any guy would fight to keep.
3) Confidence – 
I can’t stress this one enough. If you’re unfazed by a few witty remarks and don’t keep shrinking into the background, you’re in. Again, there’s a fine line here. “Confident” doesn’t mean “I have to be the center of attention all the time”. That “center of it all” girl never sticks out as anything more than a one-nighter. She’s obviously way too selfish to be any good in other situations.
On the other hand, a confident woman is someone who holds her own but isn’t afraid to step out of the spotlight for a while. She speaks up at the right time, but doesn’t monopolize the conversation. That kind of woman is the kind of woman we feel will be more confident later. We’re talking “lights on” and “on top”, and that’s amazingly sexy.
4) Adventurous – 
I know this seems like it would fall under the “confidence” thing, but not quite. This is a rock-climbing, mountain-biking, back-to-nature kind of girl. You are the “up for anything” woman…and we figure that’s a trait you carry over to every area of your life.
Granted, only a certain type of guy stands a chance of keeping up with you, but every guy knows that. The guy who can manage to keep up with this type of woman is envied by every guy he knows. This is the athletic girl, and she’s the one we picture walking in the door after the long jog/workout and slamming us into the wall as she proceeds to tear our t-shirt to pieces. Bless you, dear woman.
5) Mystery – Yes, we know that you ladies are drawn to men who are the mysterious, strong-but-silent types, but that works both ways. A woman whose best features aren’t the most obvious ones is like a flower that’s slowly opening up. We can see the beauty on the outside, but as the flower blooms we are given a glimpse into an even deeper beauty. 
We want you to be that woman who turns around in the parking lot and gives us this smile we haven’t seen all night long, but know in an instant we have to see again and again. It’s a coy “I know a secret” kind of smile that lets us know there’s more to you than meets the eye.
Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not telling you to go out there and learn a magic trick or something (though that would be very cool in the right context). Just don’t be one of those people who feels the need to share every single moment of their life story in the first five minutes of meeting.
6) Physical contact – Touch is important. If you touch a guy’s arm while you laugh or flirt or whatever, it bumps you up a dozen notches on the “sexy” scale. You have proven you aren’t afraid to get physical. We like physical. Follow the logic.
7) Bedroom eyes – You know what I’m talking about here. It’s that same look we imagine we’d be seeing after a long, exhausting night. It’s that same look we imagine we’d see after that long night and just before you slide up next to us and whisper, “Ready for more?” Oh yeah, I just got chills thinking about it.
8) Looks – Sorry, but I couldn’t leave this one out. It is important, like it or not. Take care of yourself and the way you dress.
So now you know the secrets. You’ve looked behind the curtain and found exactly what we guys notice when we’re out and about. Above that, you know why we look for these things, and that’s something you can apply to other traits I might have missed. You want to make us feel there’s no doubt you would rock our world if we were lucky enough to get that chance with you. And if we see that pouring off of you, you’d better believe we’ll be fighting for that chance every time.
Your turn now to sound off. What did I miss?
Men Aren't That Deep 
lol .. great post.
Atta boy!
If only more men (and women)took the time to talk about this, there would be much less confusion, divorce, and suffering.
Guys…don’t buy into the crap about being “sensitive” and “caring”. Women like a strong man. However, don’t be a jerk either! You can and should listen to your mate. The more you let her know you are listening to her, the more likely she will listen to you and THAT is where the payoff comes.
Many women are hot when they date. Once they get married, many retain their beauty. Once thoe little ones arrive, many substitute sexy for mommy…it can go downhill from there.
Is your wife hot? Mine is. But she wasn’t always! check out my blog at http://www.makeyourwifehot.wordpress.com I have a book too. It was co-authored by my NOW hot wife!
Motherhood can send a woman back to the most insecure days. Women need their men to support them as they take that journey back into confidence again. In highschool , young ladies use their popularity to help boost and keep their confidence. It stays this way as we get older, date, and eventually marry, but when we have children, that confidence is lost or put away mainly because it is not necessarily a priority anymore. Babies dont care if mommy is sexy; they can be fat, stinky, with food in their hair, and baby will still want nothing but mommy. So men, if you are that man and see your woman headed in that direction, intervene with encouraging sexy. Buy some sexy clothing like teddies while she is pregnant, and bring her flowers, take a shower with her so you was her hair. Rub her down with a lightly perfumed scented oil not baby oil. Do these things daily, almost as if you were dating her for the first time. I know it will be a little different because she may not be exactly the way she was when you started dating.
I just LOOOVE how men always say they find confidence sexy in a woman, but when presented with a TRULY confident woman, they not only run the other way, they find subtle and not-so-subtle ways to undermine the woman’s feeling of feminine attractiveness. I’m pretty bright, in good shape (5’5″, size 6), look like a young Susan Sarandon, and I am constantly told I’m “fun, smart, great to hang out with, but not pretty enough” by every guy I come across. When guys start telling the TRUTH, that looks are the be-all and end-all of what you want – well, that and stupidity and submissiveness – the world will be a better place.
You are probably a rude obnoxious disrespectful women and have been conditioned to think this constitutes “TRUE confidence”. You probably think guys not liking your self important attitude means they want you to be stupid and submissive. Just because guys don’t want your personality doesn’t mean they don’t care about personality.
Thanks for this article. It’s a cool read. To Sandy, I understand how you must feel, and you sound like someone who would be a wonderful role model to alot of women today. (I think Susan Sarandon is one of the most prettiest and intelligent actresses) You keep on keepin on girlfriend, and when you least expect it, you will find a man who appreciates you and thinks you’re the most beautiful on the planet.
ALL of this plus one more thing. Maybe it’s assumed, but she also has to really, REALLY, R E A L L Y love sex. That is all.
100% agree Douglas. A woman can be confident, self sufficient, funny, adventurous and gorgeous but if she is insecure in the bedroom it would be VERY difficult for me to want to be more than great friends. I know that sounds rather shallow but i don’t think it is. Men are different from women in that we find it harder to overlook at least that one part that must be there. I don’t mean every man is looking for a pornstar but we are ALL looking for someone that we don’t have to encourage or have the sex drive for us both in the bedroom. All the confidence in the world means nothing if it cannot be conveyed in the bed. Sorry
Well said. Confidence doesn’t mean she’s swinging from the ceiling fan screaming “Let’s do this!” (though there are a number of guys who would see this as a positive). It means she’s not afraid to be in the moment, let herself go, and get into it.
Hot Post, not one bit sleezie. I thought for a minute a woman had wrote it.
I agree, that was a hot post! You should be writing steamy romance novels or something. Enjoyed your point of view. Speaking of confidence you must have that pouring off of you as well. Oh yeah!
Tuesday spent studying for an exam that will plan my future out. A minute to relax I decided to use google in a “flighty, semi-interested, need-for-a-laugh” way and the search led me here. I was pleasantly surprised. It was an honest and surprisingly, a somewhat enlightening read. If you have not already, expand it into a book, perhaps?
Needless to say, I did not get my needed laugh so I’ll do a keyboard trundle to youtube but not before a “cheers mate!”
Hey I missed only one thing and its the look of the bedroom eyes
there is nothing in the world that will give you the correct answer on what makes a woman(or man)sexy. sexy is the attraction of another person, and who are we to disagree to a person that sees beauty differently as we do. everyone is not the same, but for the most part, look at certain things or a charictaristic trait. for me, its how he stands out from the best, self confidence, has proper communication skills, is honest and consistant in life and relationships, also has got to have personality because without it, he doesnt have the qualities to match him. he has got to be all man and not some wanna be kid who plays games and wastes my time.
So true!
“Looks” make a woman sexy. What kind of looks?
The “looks” I’m talking about here is physical appearance. You don’t have to have a perfect body necessarily, but a woman who obviously takes care of herself is sexy. A woman who is overweight and just doesn’t care may be appealing to some men, but not many. Men want to be with a woman they can be proud of; someone who will make other men want to be him. When she walks into the room, she immediately grabs the attention of the crowd (in a good way, not an attention whore) by the way she dresses, looks, or acts.
what about women who are naturally overweight? It seems to me, from my experience -dating since I was 15 to my marriage now at 25- that men really just want someone to boost their ever-important ego. You want someone who makes other men want to be you? You want a woman who is mysterious, yet confident. Who is adventurous, yet domestic. It seems like all it takes to be the perfect woman is to fake it and mould to what that man wants. Pretty simple for simple minded people..
As long as you can be happy with a man who is “naturally overweight”, there’s nothing wrong with what you’re saying. My guess would be that you would prefer to have a man who is at least physically attractive, if not a health nut. People want someone they are attracted to, and that pretty much covers a very wide gamut of folks. Some people find they must make an emotional connection with the other person before being sexually attracted to them, while others find the physical attraction most important to a relationship.
And yes, every man out there longs to be “the lucky one” that every other guy looks at and wishes he could be. We want to have the mate that others wish they could have. But so do women. No woman I’ve ever met knowingly looks for a man so ugly no other woman would ever want him. It works both ways.
No one is asking any woman to “fake it and mould to what that man wants”. Instead, I believe when the woman or man finds that person they truly enjoy being with, it’s because they can be themselves around them and not have to play the game or wear the mask anymore. However, I do believe that you always have to keep trying, no matter how long you’ve been in the relationship. When you stop trying, the relationship starts dying. No need to fake it, but you do have to keep up with yourself forever.
Someone please explain to me.. how can a guy be attracted to and love a woman (no – a chick) who:
* looks like his grandmother, grey hair in a bun and all.
* doesn’t shower much
* is a slob at home
* overweight and doesn’t care
* argues with his parents
* clingy and passive-aggressive
Because all of the points in this article — though sensible — are blown away by this kind of reality.
Sounds like the guy has some self-esteem issues or something. He’s definitely not the norm. It really does take all kinds though, which is why even the ugliest people out there are wearing wedding rings.
To be sexy is all in you being confident taking care of yourself living life by your rules no one elses.
You should have thick skin beauty is in the eye of the beholder! what one man might find sexy another might not thats why there are so many different definitions of beauty im a size 12 cuvy like scarlet johansen with catherine zeta jones features im from puert rico I know im beautiful inside and out it radiates and i attract men of all ages and races like a magnet I have all 8 things in this article:1) A strong laugh 2) Eye contact 3) Confidence 4) Adventurous 5) Mystery 6) Physical contact 7) Bedroom eyes 8)Looks so I gues im sexy and when i see another woman try to put me down i will just shrug it off because i know im sexy!
Awesome post, loved it!
What a bunch of crap
I’m a guy and half the things mentions do nothing to me if not turn me off (sleepy eyes) and the other half have a small effect.
For example, I don’t like whorish loud women who laugh loud, I love open intense kinda devilish eyes (like Megan Fox’s) not sleepy ones, and I LOVE eye contact just not that phony smiley look but an intense look of infatuation. Mystery has nothing to do with attractiveness too.
I really liked the post man its fantastic. I’m a woman and everyone thinks I’m tough as nails but also very domestic. Like I love to wear little dressess and stilletos in while cleaning the kitchen and the place. But I clean up and wear stylish dressess every day with make up and do my hair but I can also climb fences sneek into places and Mosh like a mo fo. Im not that pretty a lot of the men and wemon say I look indrogonous I atract a lot of bi sexuals, gay men, straight wemon, bi woman and lesbians transexuals, and straight men sometimes. Im 5ft8′ pail skin dark hair strong jaw curvy body with long legs wide straight back. Odd looking
but thanks for the advice
elle
interesting post,makes a lot of sense.
I love how every single one of the points always leads back to equating how you figure she’ll be in bed. I mean, really, it doesn’t go ANY deeper than that, ever, huh? Nice. Hermitism doesn’t seem like such a bad idea sometimes.
The article is about what will make a man think a woman is sexy – not what will make a man love her. Being sexy can be a facet of why a man can be attracted to/love a woman. Now take your panties out of that twist.
I THINK THAT YUU ARE GOING AFTER THE WRONG TYPE OF GUYS!
It would be a great article if i were a guy and understood i guess what a guy really wants in a girl.But im not, im the girl that people say is beautiful but wont talk to me. im the one girls hate for no reason when they walk in the room. im the girl who has it all but no guy appreciates it. ive been told i look like the blonde woman on nip tuck. more so like jessica alba. i have curves, 100 lbs c cup tiny waist and hips to kill. i love my body but like a woman said above.. guys only diminish your confidence when you present it. they look for every flaw you have and use it against you breaking your soul and forcing you to build walls against every man alive.
The only person alive who has the power to crush me, and does so often, is my man… he never says im beautiful or tells me how much he appreciates what i do( which is literally everything; i even pack his lunch for the graveyard shift at work and leave cute notes once in a while saying things like i love you, or cant wait to rip those clothes off you in the morning / tomorrow..) but he pays no attention at all… weve gone months with no sex and i was once the most adventurous vixen in the world… now not so much. i am fully clothed when he is around because trying would only hurt me in the short fall… i dont ever take my tops off because i feel inadequate in my girls because they arent a double D cup.. he likes those ( ive seen his porn history) i guess my only flaw is i have feelings.. and that now i have no self confidence around men. i feel ugly and no woman should ever feel this way. all women are beautiful no matter what they appear as. men need to realize this or they will lose precious time.
im done trying for men. they have all they need in a woman on their computers and apparently do it better since they only want virtual women… i present myself only so women dont walk all over me. not for the satisfaction of men to oogle me. yuck! btw im 19. pretty sad that ive realized what slobs men are but at the same time im thankful that im not wasting my time. keep your fantasies boys, save your pennies and buy pocket pussies( if you dont have one already) im sure you will get very comfortable doing things on your own for the next 100 years or so.
just remember; if you only have 100 years to live, why waste time being arrogant or selfish about something everyone needs? Touch. whether its feelings or nerves it all means the same things.
Great article! A few points missing though:
– That a woman is able to have a good conversation and show that she’s interested in you, fun and cooly intelligent (but not a show-off).
– That she is able to accept you for who you are and bring out the best in you, WITHOUT trying to change you.
– That she is able to gracefully accept a compliment with a simple ‘thank you’ and genuine smile, without disagreeing with you, telling you you’re wrong or spilling a big story to explain what complimented her for etc.
– That she doesn’t constantly discriminate against you for being a man and the differences between you. Allow for our differences to compliment each other.
– That she is confident enough in herself to let-lose and have fun. You are beautiful when we see you are enjoying yourself! Never mind all this sultry business; it may be sexy seducing a man to bed, but it’s hard to get along with all the time.
Also…
– That she has a sense of humour and can make and take a joke.
I think this article is excellent. It covers more or less everything I would imagine comes under the remit of sexiness. I would add a few more though.
ENGAGING
When I go out with my friends I really never look at other people in terms of who is good looking and who is doing what etc. it doesn’t cross my mind because I don’t really care. If I am with a group or with an individual I am with them engaged and having fun. Thats not to say I won’t chat to a stranger and have a laugh, of course I will and I’ve even had girls lining up to feel my breasts in the girls loos which was hilarious, so Im not shy at all socially, but Im not the type of person to look around the room while in conversation with my friend, boyfriend or girlfriend – that is so damn rude. So, I’d say being a good listener and engaging with someone in a genuine way, be it in deep conversation, a quick chat on the street or a very trivial childish and pointless but funny conversation suggests that this person is interested in what the other person has to say and therefore possibly cares about how they feel, not thinking that the world only revolves around them. Maybe this could get a guy thinking that this girl may not just lay back and think of England when they have sex, but really enjoy it and want to please as much as be pleased, because both sexual needs are important, because both people are important.
When I have been dancing in a club lets say, doing so in my own little world looking uninhibited and happy, I notice people really notice you more, purely because you do not need the attention of others and you are free enough to enjoy the music without caring what others think. LACK OF INHIBITIONS –> free to express –> free in bed? Guys have come up to me and said ” God you are really oblivious to what is going on around you, its very sexy”.
VOICE
My boyfriend and others have said I have a sexy voice. I don’t mean fake porno trying hard to sound sexy, but not being sexy voice. Just natural, warm with a the extra whatever it is thrown in. I don’t really hear sexiness when I listen to my own voice, but I suppose its like hearing yourself on your answer phone/voicemail and thinking it sounds like another person or a bit strange. Men change the way they talk to you on the phone when they hear a woman’s voice that they like and try to prolong the call. A women could look amazing, but if she has an odd, grating or unattractive voice, I think it can really diminish her good points unfortunately.
One last thing I would say though, a lot of men can fall in love with all of these great things, but when they have achieved the objective of getting the girl so to speak, so many men start freaking out. Im 6ft tall, thin but with curves, athletic, beautifull according to some people (but I don’t know it), make fun of myself readily, intelligent, love the gym, love clothes and dress to suit myself while knowing what works for me, I can play and write music (which some guys find a turn on), Im not bitchy and hate drama, I can draw well (which makes some guys smile), study medicine, cool with animals, love sex A LOT, easy going but not a doormat etc. but a lot of men I have dated have ended up almost disliking the very things that attracted them to me due to their own insecurities. Having an abundance of good traits, but remaining a really nice person seems to throw a lot of people way off – I think they are brainwashed into thinking you can’t be a nice person and somehow can’t just relax and enjoy the friendship and company and sex that comes with it. Its almost like they are on guard all the time incase they lose it. Just chill out please!
Men want beautiful women for the same reason why beautiful women want successful men. Its because each of them have something to be proud of – which shows off confidence. I am a beautiful women that attracts all different type of men but I will not give a man who doesnt have the ability to “take care of business” (in more ways than 1) a chance with me! Its not always about looks. Im attracted to men with attitude, yes they have to dress nicely as if they take care of themselves. But, they dont have to be over the top dressed up. Just as im sure men think the same for us women.
Men just want a woman who’s feminine, a real WOMAN. Just as we want a MAN. If we all stopped trying to control each other and just respected that men will be men and women will be women than the divorce rate would be less and there would be many more happy couples out there.
Im with my man for 2 years now. I give him his space, I get annoyed of the things he does as a man because, im very much a woman and its opposite of the way we think, but I get over it and move on.
He loves me for being able to stand up to him as a woman (not yell or scream at him when I want something) But to make light of the situation by being witty and clever in the way of expressing my needs – It takes practice and patience. In return he treats me with the up most respect, takes care of me and is always by my side. We are proud of each other.
…and yes I always dress to show off my curves, always keep my skin smooth, wear sexy underwear, high heels and have light make-up on. By the way, thats all for me to feel sexy, not for him to notice me 😉
I like your attitude Tatiana… couldn’t agree more!
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I think I got them all.hahaha 😀
wear red and deep purple and gold or bronzish colour clothing and dark but soft mascara and eyeliner and eyeshadow, also always wear nail varnish. i sound so pushy dont i ?
cleavage also always helps …..
so do curves and red lips…..
Mama Mia! What a bunch of crap! I am sure that sexiness is in the eyes of the beholder. It depends on each man and what they consider to look sexy.
I am a woman with a very strong personality; type A, always thriving for excellence. I would want my man to match these qualities or, even be stronger, dress up, take care of himself. Because I have such a strong personality, men feel shy to approach me. I would never smile to a man! Never! In order for me to smile, he has to be fabulous in each and every way. And, I don’t need a man to compliment me on my looks; I know who/how I am.
Ok, have most of it…..but being adventurous means energy… Where do i get it? After worrying about my looks, try to be a tiger in bed, being good in the kitchen, being sweet and not raise my voice….
Too tired to climb the mountain….
Anyway….
This article manages to be offensive to both men and women – that’s quite an accomplishment. You’re basically spewing the same crap every magazine/crappy tv show has been throwing out there for years : Men are so shallow that all they look for in a partner is good sex, and women should concentrated all their energy into giving those one-minded men what they want…Just a question : have you ever been in an actual relationship ? Cos’ most of the “valuable advice” you’re proudly giving out is pretty much only relevant to one-night stands…Conclusion : if you feel the need to patronize and admonish other people, get a degree, not a blog. You’ll probably still be a self-satisfied ass but at least you’ll have some credibility.
Sorry to have obviously upset you with the post. Please remember: This isn’t an advice column, it’s just my thoughts. None of it is to help create a “one night stand”, but to help a guy actually mature into a relationship, or give a girl the chance to figure out what he’s thinking. No relationship is one-sided, and I couldn’t write a “What Makes a Man Sexy” article because I have no idea what women truly find attractive beyond the “same crap every magazine/crappy tv show has been throwing out there for years.” You should consider writing that article yourself and giving us a clue as to what’s going on.
SORRY BUT YOU ARE WRONG SLIM ATTRACTIVE NICE BREASTS NICE ARESE THAT IS All there is to it everything else comes later