Oh, you read about it in magazines, you see it in movies, and you may hear guys talk about it when a hot girl walks by, but have you ever wondered what makes a woman stand out as sexy? Believe it or not, it’s not just the “WOW!” physical aspect of it all. Don’t get me wrong, looks play a big part in it (at least, how those looks are handled), but there are other things that figure into the equation.
Ladies, would you like to know if other guys think you’re sexy? Or would you like to want to ramp up your value just a little next time you see that cute guy you want to impress? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Let me give you a little insight into what–besides just looks–makes a woman sexy to a man.
1) A strong laugh –
Now I’m not talking about some hideous witch cackle or something that eventually devolves into a pig snort. I’m talking about a smooth, strong laugh with a nice smile. A woman who’s open to laughter and not afraid to let herself go with a good laugh is a vocal woman. Do you understand where this leads in our minds? You’re vocal in this respect, you’ll be vocal later in another situation. Follow me?
So why the laugh? Why not deep conversation or intimate details of your day-to-day life? Because too much talk can be a big turn-off. We want to know that later you’ll be uninhibited in expressing yourself, but not so talkative that you won’t shut up long enough to do anything else. That little air of “maybe” keeps electricity in the air.
2) Eye contact - A woman who locks eyes with you and keeps that half-smile going just before her gaze drops to the bar is great. I’m not meaning the scary, stare-at-you-all-night-like-a-stalker girl. No, I mean the woman who isn’t afraid to look at you and let you know she’s doing so. This is the woman who watches you while you’re talking, and doesn’t let her eyes wander all over the room. She’s the woman who makes you think you’re the only other person in the room, and she’s the woman any guy would fight to keep.
3) Confidence –
I can’t stress this one enough. If you’re unfazed by a few witty remarks and don’t keep shrinking into the background, you’re in. Again, there’s a fine line here. “Confident” doesn’t mean “I have to be the center of attention all the time”. That “center of it all” girl never sticks out as anything more than a one-nighter. She’s obviously way too selfish to be any good in other situations.
On the other hand, a confident woman is someone who holds her own but isn’t afraid to step out of the spotlight for a while. She speaks up at the right time, but doesn’t monopolize the conversation. That kind of woman is the kind of woman we feel will be more confident later. We’re talking “lights on” and “on top”, and that’s amazingly sexy.
4) Adventurous –
I know this seems like it would fall under the “confidence” thing, but not quite. This is a rock-climbing, mountain-biking, back-to-nature kind of girl. You are the “up for anything” woman…and we figure that’s a trait you carry over to every area of your life.
Granted, only a certain type of guy stands a chance of keeping up with you, but every guy knows that. The guy who can manage to keep up with this type of woman is envied by every guy he knows. This is the athletic girl, and she’s the one we picture walking in the door after the long jog/workout and slamming us into the wall as she proceeds to tear our t-shirt to pieces. Bless you, dear woman.
5) Mystery – Yes, we know that you ladies are drawn to men who are the mysterious, strong-but-silent types, but that works both ways. A woman whose best features aren’t the most obvious ones is like a flower that’s slowly opening up. We can see the beauty on the outside, but as the flower blooms we are given a glimpse into an even deeper beauty.
We want you to be that woman who turns around in the parking lot and gives us this smile we haven’t seen all night long, but know in an instant we have to see again and again. It’s a coy “I know a secret” kind of smile that lets us know there’s more to you than meets the eye.
Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not telling you to go out there and learn a magic trick or something (though that would be very cool in the right context). Just don’t be one of those people who feels the need to share every single moment of their life story in the first five minutes of meeting.
6) Physical contact – Touch is important. If you touch a guy’s arm while you laugh or flirt or whatever, it bumps you up a dozen notches on the “sexy” scale. You have proven you aren’t afraid to get physical. We like physical. Follow the logic.
7) Bedroom eyes – You know what I’m talking about here. It’s that same look we imagine we’d be seeing after a long, exhausting night. It’s that same look we imagine we’d see after that long night and just before you slide up next to us and whisper, “Ready for more?” Oh yeah, I just got chills thinking about it.
8) Looks – Sorry, but I couldn’t leave this one out. It is important, like it or not. Take care of yourself and the way you dress.
So now you know the secrets. You’ve looked behind the curtain and found exactly what we guys notice when we’re out and about. Above that, you know why we look for these things, and that’s something you can apply to other traits I might have missed. You want to make us feel there’s no doubt you would rock our world if we were lucky enough to get that chance with you. And if we see that pouring off of you, you’d better believe we’ll be fighting for that chance every time.
Your turn now to sound off. What did I miss?
lol .. great post.
Atta boy!
If only more men (and women)took the time to talk about this, there would be much less confusion, divorce, and suffering.
Guys…don’t buy into the crap about being “sensitive” and “caring”. Women like a strong man. However, don’t be a jerk either! You can and should listen to your mate. The more you let her know you are listening to her, the more likely she will listen to you and THAT is where the payoff comes.
Many women are hot when they date. Once they get married, many retain their beauty. Once thoe little ones arrive, many substitute sexy for mommy…it can go downhill from there.
Is your wife hot? Mine is. But she wasn’t always! check out my blog at http://www.makeyourwifehot.wordpress.com I have a book too. It was co-authored by my NOW hot wife!
I just LOOOVE how men always say they find confidence sexy in a woman, but when presented with a TRULY confident woman, they not only run the other way, they find subtle and not-so-subtle ways to undermine the woman’s feeling of feminine attractiveness. I’m pretty bright, in good shape (5’5″, size 6), look like a young Susan Sarandon, and I am constantly told I’m “fun, smart, great to hang out with, but not pretty enough” by every guy I come across. When guys start telling the TRUTH, that looks are the be-all and end-all of what you want – well, that and stupidity and submissiveness – the world will be a better place.
You are probably a rude obnoxious disrespectful women and have been conditioned to think this constitutes “TRUE confidence”. You probably think guys not liking your self important attitude means they want you to be stupid and submissive. Just because guys don’t want your personality doesn’t mean they don’t care about personality.
Thanks for this article. It’s a cool read. To Sandy, I understand how you must feel, and you sound like someone who would be a wonderful role model to alot of women today. (I think Susan Sarandon is one of the most prettiest and intelligent actresses) You keep on keepin on girlfriend, and when you least expect it, you will find a man who appreciates you and thinks you’re the most beautiful on the planet.
ALL of this plus one more thing. Maybe it’s assumed, but she also has to really, REALLY, R E A L L Y love sex. That is all.
Hot Post, not one bit sleezie. I thought for a minute a woman had wrote it.
I agree, that was a hot post! You should be writing steamy romance novels or something. Enjoyed your point of view. Speaking of confidence you must have that pouring off of you as well. Oh yeah!
Tuesday spent studying for an exam that will plan my future out. A minute to relax I decided to use google in a “flighty, semi-interested, need-for-a-laugh” way and the search led me here. I was pleasantly surprised. It was an honest and surprisingly, a somewhat enlightening read. If you have not already, expand it into a book, perhaps?
Needless to say, I did not get my needed laugh so I’ll do a keyboard trundle to youtube but not before a “cheers mate!”
Hey I missed only one thing and its the look of the bedroom eyes
there is nothing in the world that will give you the correct answer on what makes a woman(or man)sexy. sexy is the attraction of another person, and who are we to disagree to a person that sees beauty differently as we do. everyone is not the same, but for the most part, look at certain things or a charictaristic trait. for me, its how he stands out from the best, self confidence, has proper communication skills, is honest and consistant in life and relationships, also has got to have personality because without it, he doesnt have the qualities to match him. he has got to be all man and not some wanna be kid who plays games and wastes my time.
“Looks” make a woman sexy. What kind of looks?
The “looks” I’m talking about here is physical appearance. You don’t have to have a perfect body necessarily, but a woman who obviously takes care of herself is sexy. A woman who is overweight and just doesn’t care may be appealing to some men, but not many. Men want to be with a woman they can be proud of; someone who will make other men want to be him. When she walks into the room, she immediately grabs the attention of the crowd (in a good way, not an attention whore) by the way she dresses, looks, or acts.
what about women who are naturally overweight? It seems to me, from my experience -dating since I was 15 to my marriage now at 25- that men really just want someone to boost their ever-important ego. You want someone who makes other men want to be you? You want a woman who is mysterious, yet confident. Who is adventurous, yet domestic. It seems like all it takes to be the perfect woman is to fake it and mould to what that man wants. Pretty simple for simple minded people..
As long as you can be happy with a man who is “naturally overweight”, there’s nothing wrong with what you’re saying. My guess would be that you would prefer to have a man who is at least physically attractive, if not a health nut. People want someone they are attracted to, and that pretty much covers a very wide gamut of folks. Some people find they must make an emotional connection with the other person before being sexually attracted to them, while others find the physical attraction most important to a relationship.
And yes, every man out there longs to be “the lucky one” that every other guy looks at and wishes he could be. We want to have the mate that others wish they could have. But so do women. No woman I’ve ever met knowingly looks for a man so ugly no other woman would ever want him. It works both ways.
No one is asking any woman to “fake it and mould to what that man wants”. Instead, I believe when the woman or man finds that person they truly enjoy being with, it’s because they can be themselves around them and not have to play the game or wear the mask anymore. However, I do believe that you always have to keep trying, no matter how long you’ve been in the relationship. When you stop trying, the relationship starts dying. No need to fake it, but you do have to keep up with yourself forever.
Someone please explain to me.. how can a guy be attracted to and love a woman (no – a chick) who:
* looks like his grandmother, grey hair in a bun and all.
* doesn’t shower much
* is a slob at home
* overweight and doesn’t care
* argues with his parents
* clingy and passive-aggressive
Because all of the points in this article — though sensible — are blown away by this kind of reality.
Sounds like the guy has some self-esteem issues or something. He’s definitely not the norm. It really does take all kinds though, which is why even the ugliest people out there are wearing wedding rings.
To be sexy is all in you being confident taking care of yourself living life by your rules no one elses.
You should have thick skin beauty is in the eye of the beholder! what one man might find sexy another might not thats why there are so many different definitions of beauty im a size 12 cuvy like scarlet johansen with catherine zeta jones features im from puert rico I know im beautiful inside and out it radiates and i attract men of all ages and races like a magnet I have all 8 things in this article:1) A strong laugh 2) Eye contact 3) Confidence 4) Adventurous 5) Mystery 6) Physical contact 7) Bedroom eyes 8)Looks so I gues im sexy and when i see another woman try to put me down i will just shrug it off because i know im sexy!
Awesome post, loved it!
What a bunch of crap
I’m a guy and half the things mentions do nothing to me if not turn me off (sleepy eyes) and the other half have a small effect.
For example, I don’t like whorish loud women who laugh loud, I love open intense kinda devilish eyes (like Megan Fox’s) not sleepy ones, and I LOVE eye contact just not that phony smiley look but an intense look of infatuation. Mystery has nothing to do with attractiveness too.
I really liked the post man its fantastic. I’m a woman and everyone thinks I’m tough as nails but also very domestic. Like I love to wear little dressess and stilletos in while cleaning the kitchen and the place. But I clean up and wear stylish dressess every day with make up and do my hair but I can also climb fences sneek into places and Mosh like a mo fo. Im not that pretty a lot of the men and wemon say I look indrogonous I atract a lot of bi sexuals, gay men, straight wemon, bi woman and lesbians transexuals, and straight men sometimes. Im 5ft8′ pail skin dark hair strong jaw curvy body with long legs wide straight back. Odd looking
but thanks for the advice
elle
interesting post,makes a lot of sense.
I love how every single one of the points always leads back to equating how you figure she’ll be in bed. I mean, really, it doesn’t go ANY deeper than that, ever, huh? Nice. Hermitism doesn’t seem like such a bad idea sometimes.
Great article! A few points missing though:
- That a woman is able to have a good conversation and show that she’s interested in you, fun and cooly intelligent (but not a show-off).
- That she is able to accept you for who you are and bring out the best in you, WITHOUT trying to change you.
- That she is able to gracefully accept a compliment with a simple ‘thank you’ and genuine smile, without disagreeing with you, telling you you’re wrong or spilling a big story to explain what complimented her for etc.
- That she doesn’t constantly discriminate against you for being a man and the differences between you. Allow for our differences to compliment each other.
- That she is confident enough in herself to let-lose and have fun. You are beautiful when we see you are enjoying yourself! Never mind all this sultry business; it may be sexy seducing a man to bed, but it’s hard to get along with all the time.
Also…
- That she has a sense of humour and can make and take a joke.
Men want beautiful women for the same reason why beautiful women want successful men. Its because each of them have something to be proud of – which shows off confidence. I am a beautiful women that attracts all different type of men but I will not give a man who doesnt have the ability to “take care of business” (in more ways than 1) a chance with me! Its not always about looks. Im attracted to men with attitude, yes they have to dress nicely as if they take care of themselves. But, they dont have to be over the top dressed up. Just as im sure men think the same for us women.
Men just want a woman who’s feminine, a real WOMAN. Just as we want a MAN. If we all stopped trying to control each other and just respected that men will be men and women will be women than the divorce rate would be less and there would be many more happy couples out there.
Im with my man for 2 years now. I give him his space, I get annoyed of the things he does as a man because, im very much a woman and its opposite of the way we think, but I get over it and move on.
He loves me for being able to stand up to him as a woman (not yell or scream at him when I want something) But to make light of the situation by being witty and clever in the way of expressing my needs – It takes practice and patience. In return he treats me with the up most respect, takes care of me and is always by my side. We are proud of each other.
…and yes I always dress to show off my curves, always keep my skin smooth, wear sexy underwear, high heels and have light make-up on. By the way, thats all for me to feel sexy, not for him to notice me
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I think I got them all.hahaha